So as I was meditating yesterday, I ended up having a bit of a vision. In this vision, I was digging in the sand on the beach from the guided meditation. I was digging several holes, some with my hands, some with my feet (those holes were more awkward to dig than the ones with my hands). I also filled them back up, but it seemed that the only filled up part way.
Maybe that was the sign to stop the inner digging and start filling the holes back up. As I thought about it, I realized that I had dug down about as far as I'm able to go and in several different areas. Yet even if I fill the holes up, it's sand so it's able to be dug down again, but maybe it's telling me that I don't need to, that God will take care of it and maybe fill the holes with something more, since all I can fill it with is sand and dry sand at that. Some of the holes may be messier, and so harder to refill, but I think it's time to rebuild again after years of digging the holes, digging down deep, and yet digging occasionally when it's appropriate, like digging into the meditation, and when I get to it, Step 4 about taking an honest moral inventory of myself.
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