Musings on Doubt, Faith, and 4th Calling

Tonight's songs that popped out at me as I tried to relax to bed were "I Am a Pioneer" from Tenchi Muyo and Mark Miller (With Julian Wamble)'s Heal Us Emmanuel.  Lyrics for Pioneer are below.  I attempted feebly to glean the lyrics word for word for Mark's song, but the meaning is so much more important.....technically for both songs.

I'd been starting to doubt the 4th Calling, wondering, again, if it was real.    Well, just as I'm thinking about this, Pioneer comes on.   I've got to live the life I create inside my head?  to be a Pioneer?  wtf?  so if my Calling is being created inside my head, whether by me or by God, to be a true pioneer, to be true to myself, as the song calls one to do, I have to live that life.   Facing danger.....truth as greatest weapon.....again, my mind goes wtf.  Isn't that what I mused on last night with Jeremiah 1?

I am a Pioneer-

Vocals: Sharyn Scott
Did you know I am a pioneer 
I'm out on a secret mission 
I travel the galaxy and far beyond 

Can't you see that I am I pioneer 
Unlocking the greatest mysteries 
My key is a fearless heart 
So pure and strong 
People laugh when you are a pioneer 
Not walking the straight and narrow 
They tell you the way things are 
They swear you're wrong 

You can't be a hero 
Hiding underneath your bed 
Got to live the life 
You create inside your head 
So I opened the window 
Caught the wind one night 
Now I sail with the birds in their flight 

If you're tired of everything 
Come hitch a ride with me 
You'll cry out with joy 
When you realize you're free 
It's a trip like no other 
For your heart and mind 
Leaving all but the future far behind 

Some will say you're safer here 
Never mind them - be a pioneer! 

Can't you see that you are a pioneer 
Not one of the endless talkers 
Who tell you the same old rules you're heard before 
I can tell that you are a pioneer 
You want to be facing danger 
Not happy to hide your big dreams anymore 
You are a pioneer, the same as me 

[ Guitar Solo ] 

You can't be a hero 
Hiding underneath your bed 
So we'll live the life 
We've created in our heads 
We'll wake up every morning 
In a whole new place 
On a road reaching out into space 

Some will say we're safer here 
Never mind them - we are pioneers 

Hand in hand we'll journey as pioneers 
Unlocking the greatest mysteries 
Don't listen to anyone 
Who says we're wrong 
They can't stop you when you're a pioneer 
For truth is your greatest weapon 
Out there in the cosmos 
Where we both belong 
A place for pioneers 
Like you and me 

Through the ages we well be pioneers 
We'll go out on secret missions 
We'll travel the galaxy and far beyond 
It's our destiny to be pioneers 
We'll always be moving forward 
Our courage is what we will be counting on 
We will be pioneers forevermore


Heal Us Emmanuel.....some of the words I managed to glean....hear our prayer, we wait to feel Your touch.  Faith being feeble, yet plainly trusting Your Word.

Meanings.....We are deep wounded souls, just as the man who cried out "help my unbelief" and the woman in the throng who stole some power for healing, she was so desperate for help.  Both were helped as are we.  You do not send us away unhealed....at least, that is our prayer.  Please don't send us away unhealed.  

This song in many ways is my prayer.....I want to feel God's touch.  I admit, my faith is feeble, yet I am trusting God's word.  I am a wounded soul who is not alone in that and my prayer is for healing for me and for others.  For stigma to be taken away so that we are no longer injured.   Please do not send us way unhealed!

Now to combine the songs.....and I write this as silly songs such as bidi bidi bom bom and the water buffalo song come on and make me laugh.   silly and serious. lol.  doubt and faith.  tis what brings the songs together, the contradictions.    Prior to Pioneer I was doubting, yet in Emmanuel, I found myself in Faith, believing that God would heal.

Now in yet another Song.....I almost hear God's answer to me.....

Be anyone you want to be
Bring to life your fantasies
I want somethin' in return

I want you to burn
Burn for me, baby
Like a candle in my night
Oh, burn, burn for me, burn for me

Are you gonna be a gambler and deal?
Are you gonna be a doctor and heal?
Or go to heaven and touch God's face?

Are you gonna be a dreamer who sleeps?
Are you gonna be a sinner who weeps?
Or an angel under grace?

I'll lay down on your bed of coals
Offer up my heart and soul
But in return

I want you to burn
Burn for me, baby
Like a candle in my night
Oh, burn, burn for me, burn for me

Read more: Jo Dee Messina - Burn Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

Burn....Burn for God....Like a Fire in the pit of my stomach.....like Jeremiah.   Followed (Of Course!) By JDM's "Keep the Faith".....I get it, I get it!  Okay.....time to go study and do the next Blog post....lol. ;)