Musings on Anger

Learning that it's okay to be and how to be angry.....interesting......learning how to express it appropriately so no one gets seriously hurt.....super important and even more interesting! I apologize to any "casualties," but I really am trying hard to learn! Just as kittens learn to sheath and let out their claws at right moments, so is this leopardess learning to do the same.....just that sometimes the innocent may get poked (hopefully not too hard). So I've been angry a LOT lately. It's been interesting to see my own reaction and to experience being angry, truly angry for the first time. I've let myself feel the anger, let it boil and then try to figure out the right things to do with it. Most often those things have either been outright confronting the person, venting, or doing something physical, or a combination of all of those. I've discovered that setting goals and accomplishing them is a very helpful way to deal with anger. It may not make the situation that made me angry better, but it still makes me feel better. Physical labor goals are even better.....cleaning my room has been a Godsend! Not only has it helped me get others off my back, but it has made me feel accomplished, and the physical labor wears out some of the anger energy. I have found myself wanting to walk....whether around the block (impossible due to the cold) or around a store or just SOMEWHERE! Again, instinct kicking in to get rid of the anger's extra energy. Venting.....cursing, yelling, griping, etc.....is a good add-on to the physical. It gets the problem out into the open. Oftentimes, having my anger validated will lessen it, or the person I'm venting to will have a new perspective on what's going on. Either way, the anger energy is lessened and released. When combined with something physical, this just about does the ultimate release. There have been times where even that does not work to release the energy, the tension, building in my body. The only way to get rid of it is to confront the person that I'm angry at. Ideally, this is done in a nice way (like after I've vented or whatnot), but sometimes nice just gets me angrier at the person. I'm still polite, but the anger boils inside and the only way to release is to say my peace/piece and leave (which will hopefully happen this week in 2 cases of this kind of anger). As mentioned in the status above, I'm prayerful about casualties of my anger. I told one friend (whom I was mad at) that I was mad at the world and didn't really want to talk-talk for fear that I would hurt him (texting hurt more.....so we ended up talking anyway). I just hope and pray that my baby claws don't poke anyone too hard. Well, even writing this blog has been good for me and my anger and so I shall say my goodnights.....