Waiting it Out

Tonight's been a rough time with ED. I'm PMS-ing and it's causing major stress. There was a part of me that wanted to binge. I reached out to my mentor and to my good friend who has been a 2nd mentor to me. She suggested doing my art. I was feeling so iffy and ED was SOOO loud that I took my laptop with me to do the art so I could talk to my 2nd mentor friend. The art was not pretty and did not quite work in getting rid of the feeling (a lot of the stress being hormones and all), but it did allow me to start to separate from ED. I journalled our conversation:

ED: You're stressed, majorly stressed. Why not eat?
ME: Because I'm full and I notice this feeling. If I eat, I may listen to you and eat too much. I won't do that.
ED: Come on, I've helped you deal with PMS before.
ME: NO ED!!!! SHUT up! The most I'll do is get something to drink.
ED: You know you want to eat
ME: ED, shut the hell up!!! I'm getting a glass of the peach juice and that's it. I'm even going to read more of Jenni's book (Jenni Schaefer) to piss you off.

I did just what I said I would and I read until the feeling of binging passed. I went onto the computer again and connected again with a Mentor Connect pal and we exchanged success stories. By that time, there was a legit snack time and I felt more in control. I still stayed in contact with someone, told ED exactly what I wanted to get (a controlled portion due the binge feeling), got that despite his wanting me to get something else and ate it while talking to a friend to make sure I didn't go on to eat more than I was supposed to. It really worked and I was full and contented and proud of myself for having defeated ED again. If I keep this up, ED doesn't stand a chance!

Sometimes, reaching out and waiting it out is what is needed to defeat ED. By reaching out, getting help and reminder hints, and waiting until the feeling passed, I was able to defeat ED tonight.