So tonight was a night in which I partied and yet had some awesome conversations. Those conversations got me to thinking and to remembering back to 2007 when I first arrived at Drew, in PTSD and not at all healthy. Today, I am much healthier than I was, I know who I am and who I am fully. My health is getting under control, with naming and understanding a few things. I have matured a great deal in just 3 years. I have given up my victim identity and am working on giving up the patient personality/identity (although asthma and such dealt a blow to that one this week). I want to have the identity of Julie, Beloved Child of God, and Soon-to-be Chaplain. I have learned and am practicing boundaries, boundaries that help me to heal and prepare me for the work ahead.
I have also realized that with switching denominations, I have been given a gift....TIME. I cannot be ordained right out of seminary, I still have work to do in the ordination process of my new denomination and in doing internship classes so that I am prepared to be the best chaplain I can be. I also still have some more growing up and healing to do in order to again be the best chaplain I can be and so to do the work that God has called me to do.
All these things are such a good sign, and signs of health now and healing that has happened and preparation. I almost feel as if God knew all along I would not be QUITE ready for ministry straight out of seminary, but God had a plan in mind anyway....a plan that would give me healing and time and the tools I needed for ministry. I so thank God for all that has been done and all that God continues to do!
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